I know it’s been awhile since I’ve posted but I’ve been sick at home with the Kindergarten blues.
Ace has been having a really tough time adjusting to Kindergarten which means I’ve been having a tough time too. Just knowing that he’s not happy makes me a nervous wreck. Friday was absolutely terrible. He kept begging me to take him home and I tried everything to calm him down. I even told him I’d come to lunch with him if he took his seat and didn’t give his teacher a hard time. (I’d been to lunch every day that week but I wasn’t planning on going that day because I wanted him to sit with his class and get to know some of the kids.) He just kept crying and telling me he wanted to go home with me.
Finally, I pried myself loose from his hugs and tears and the teacher had to practically drag him to his desk. When I peeked in the window his face was in his hands and he was resting his head on his teacher. She is such a sweetheart and it really makes me feel better knowing she cares. She was rubbing his head and his back to help him calm down. That was about all I could take so I bolted for my car, where of course I busted into tears.
Then lunchtime came and I started crying all over again because I knew he was going to be upset when he realized I wasn’t coming for lunch but I told him I would only come if he settled down and went to seat, which obviously he didn’t. As hard as it is sometimes, I can’t reward improper behavior and Ace knows that.
Later that day when I picked him up from school the first thing he asked was, “Why didn’t you come to lunch? I sat at a table by myself the whole time waiting for you and I was so nervous I couldn’t eat all my lunch.”
I felt like the worst mother in the world.
However, on Monday when he started to cry I told him if he cried like that again I wouldn’t come to lunch again and he stopped immediately and I know if I would’ve showed up Friday, he would have been hysterical again. He was still sniffling and crying a bit but he was really trying hard to keep it together. He went into class to start putting his things away but then he ran out and asked if I’d bring Gaki when I came for lunch. Gaki has been at school with him everyday so far but I made him leave him home on Monday. So I promised I would and then he walked back into his classroom sniffling a little.
As I was leaving one of the parents introduced herself to me and told me that she sat with Ace for a few minutes on Friday.
“He was so worried what about you, we didn’t know what happened,” she told me.
I explained the situation to her and then she said, “Oh good, you’re forgiven then. We thought you just didn’t show up.”
Ummm…thanks. I think. And by the way who is ‘we’? We thought you just didn’t show up? So I wondered who else thought I was a terrible mother. Oh well, sometimes in order for our children to learn we have to teach them lessons. Tough love, as they say. No one will know that I cried harder than he did during that 45-minute lunch period.
Each day has been getting better, there are less tears and a little bit more excitement. He has been coming home all week and playing school, which I’m thinking is a pretty good sign. Every morning he still reminds me 100x to pray for him and he asks how to get rid of the ‘nervous bugs’.
His teacher has asked me to volunteer in a couple weeks and when she announced it to the class he got really excited. I explained to him that the better he behaved the more they’ll ask me to come. They can’t ask parents to come if they know their child will cry every time they leave.
Hopefully by next week he (we) will be adjusted and things will fall into place. We’ve got our first PTO meeting coming up and they have a lot of fun parties and field trips scheduled too and I’m hoping that makes a difference.
Lucky and I have been spending more time doing puzzles and snuggling up to read his favorite books during the day. I’m glad to be able to give him more one-on-one time and his hugs and kisses let me know that he likes it too. So, even though this is a big transition for all of us, things will work out great. We just have to be patient.
I’ve always thought it was so difficult for kids to adjust to school–I just never realized how difficult it is for their parents!! Please keep us in your prayers!