What are your "Fundamental Faults"?

Recently, I have been listening to the audiobook On the Upbringing of Children by Bishop Irenaius. I have mentioned this book many times in the past and can't tell you how much great information it contains.

I recently read the chapter "The Seeds of Evil". It discusses the importance of uprooting the evil seeds that are being planted in our children's soul and character. It's amazing how by learning how to raise our children properly, we learn quite a bit about ourselves and our many flaws.

Bishop Irenaius writes,

"Strive to learn what faults you yourselves have and fight against them with all your strength. He who knows himself well will not find it very difficult to know someone else...If the father and mother know their own hearts well, their weakness, their fundamental faults, without much labor they will be able to perceive the faults and weaknesses of their children. This is because children often inherit the bad tendencies of their parents..."

So, in our attempt to correct our children, we're also given the opportunity to correct ourselves. As I listened to these words I started thinking about what my, and my children's, fundamental faults were. He also wrote that a fundamental sin is most always one of the seven deadly sins.

In the last year or so, Ace has started to develop some traits that are, boy, how do I describe them? Scary and frustrating with a dash of ego all rolled into one?

"Modesty, meekness, and humility are virtues so natural to a little child, since he always has need of the help of others, that if egotism and pride happen to appear, they are a result of bad training..."

Ego. Man, I hate that word. Hate everything about it. It seems, more times than not, my own ginormous ego is at the source of all my sins. Most of ours, probably. Whether in the proud person who never stops talking because he thinks he always has something great to say or the quiet man who never says a word, in fear of embarrassing himself. How many shapes and forms the ego can take on!

I've read in many places that the first six or seven years of a child's life are the most crucial. These are the years when, we as parents, have every opportunity to instill good things in them. That's not say that after those years, it cannot be done, of course, but by that time a child's passions have taken root and our task of uprooting them will have become significantly more difficult. And I certainly have noticed a difference in Ace since he's turned seven. Not all bad necessarily, but definitely different. Gone is the little boy and here is the big boy who no longer wants to be kissed goodbye at school by his father (as of now, they're still acceptable from me). It's so sad but it's sobering, as well. It was a much needed reality check for me, who unknowingly had been living as if they would stay little forever.

Bishop Irenaius also says that there are three different forms of egotism that can often be seen in children.

01. Vanity in dress. Parents who decorate their children like dolls and are constantly setting them before mirrors to see how beautiful they are. There is nothing wrong with teaching our children to want to dress neatly and respectably but when little children begin to know name brands and desire them or want to constantly stare at their beautiful reflections, we have sent them across the dangerous line of vanity.

02. Children who take pride in wealth. Children who are unsympathetic to children who have less than they do and consider themselves better because of their material possessions. It is a good idea to have children bag up toys that they no longer use to donate. It might also be a good idea to send some they do use, but don't take care of, to teach them to properly care for their belongings.

03. Children who believe they are virtuous. These children develop a great pride in themselves because they fast or dress more modestly. Parents who are constantly reminding their children how good they are for following the rules of the church or that endlessly sing their praises for making right decisions. These parents are sowing their own seeds of egotism in their children and more often than not, are doing their good deeds in front of men for praise and their own vainglory, not for the glory of God.

We should teach our children to understand that "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble." (James 4:6)

May God bless and guide us on this arduous journey!!